I had plans for a totally different entry today but after getting the mail today, I am asking myself the question.... 'Why bother'? Needless to say the news I got today wasn't good.
For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that my husband and I have had a rough couple years. In February 2008, I lost my job then in April he was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. In October of 2008 we got the notice that we were going into foreclosure and lost our home.
I have always tried to be optimistic and done a lot of praying that things would eventually look up. I got the opportunity to go to school to better myself (Wendell even got an approval this spring to go too!). We were blessed with meeting a very nice couple who helped us find a place to live. I am so thankful as if it weren't for them, we would be homeless. Wendell's health has been pretty good due to the treatment he takes daily. We felt lucky, believe it or not.
A few weeks ago we faced a dilemma of Wendell not getting his medication because the mail order company which carriers and would no longer accept his Medicaid. Then last week we got a letter from Missouri Family Services stating he needed to renew his Medicaid application. Okay, no problem but that's me trying to be optimistic. We go and fill out the paperwork. Now that I am working 2 days a week for my internship for school, I had to report that income.... no problem as we figured what I was making would make up for not receiving food stamps and help with paying for gas. We felt like we were finally seeing a little light at the end of the tunnel.
Well, after getting the mail, the tunnel collapsed. Now that he has finally received approval for his social security and I am working, all assistance is now being canceled for him. I just wanted to cry... We can't afford the $2000 a month it would take just for his injections. The state is already taking our income taxes (yes, they took both of ours) for back child support and are in the process of garnishing part of his social security to get the rest. Now we don't deny that it is owed and we have been trying to have it reviewed because without him working, we can't afford the amount he usually paid. We have had sent numerous requests to have it reviewed and now we are just waiting for the January 2010 review date we were given.
Sorry.... I am just so aggravated. Why encourage people to go to school to better themselves, etc only to knock their feet out from under them when they start getting ahead? Right now I am feeling like I just wasted the past 2 years going to school because now, I am going to have to see about going to work full time (if I can find something)because he can't work to dig us out of this hole. I've got homework sitting here to do but wondering why bother if I can't finish? I have psychology class this evening and just want to curl up in bed.
I am sorry to ramble here but I just don't have anyone here in real life to talk to. Wendell is at school and has no clue about the letter yet. (wishing I could keep it hidden) He's just going to be upset more. I don't want to tell my Dad because I know he would try to be here for me but he has his own worries right now. I think I just need to find a quiet corner and pray... Things will look better in the morning.... right???
Thank you for listening to me... You will never know how much I appreciate you all.Debbie