Saturday, July 11, 2009

A Saturday For Reflecting on Life...

This week has been a long one, at least it seems to have been. Today I woke up to the rumbling of thunder. Definately going to be a lazy day.

Lately I have found myself thinking about a lot of things. I think I mentioned before that my dad found out he has prostate cancer last week. He started his treatments on Thursday and seems to be handling it all well. He tells me he is ready for whatever God has in store for him. My mom passed away 13 years ago this coming September and despite the doctor telling dad that this isn't going to be what he'll die of, I don't find it very reassuring. I miss my mom terribly and don't even want to think of what it would be like without my dad too. I'm sure most of you can relate to what I am feeling. Is this what happens when we get older? I find myself thinking on how I remember when my parents were my age.


On to brighter subjects... I had a job interview yesterday. Its at a retirement/assisted living facility in Cape Girardeau. They are looking to fill several positions and while I could have full time, I applied for a position as a part time baker. It would basically be for 3 days a week which would be good while I am trying to complete my associates degree.... though I have been having thoughts of just trying for full time. DH is totally against me working full time right now because he is really pushing me to get that degree.

In my defense, I don't know if I can handle work, going to school and him going to school too. Since he found out he had multiple sclerosis and would qualify for schooling, he has had his heart set on going for a degree in Agri-Business. I know that wanting something is a big factor but I worry he won't be able to handle the homework and I know I personally don't want to worry about doing mine and his both. That probably sounds bad but when we went to pick up his high school transcripts last week I was shocked. Lets just say his grades were not the best and if he did so poorly in high school how can he expect to do well enough to pass a college course.

I am afraid now that he has sent all of that information in to the college he may be disappointed if they turn him down. In the meantime, I just keep trying to support him even though I'm worried he won't be able to handle it. Does that make me a bad person??? When he had his hearing for his disability, the judge suggested he try a home-based business... I wish he would think a little more on that at least for a second option.


Well, I better get moving. I think I may bake some bread. It sounds like something nice to do on a rainy day. Take care all and I hope you have a good weekend!



  1. Debbie, NO..NO.. you are not a bad person. It looks like you are the one that is looking at this and what it would mean in the upcoming months. You just can not overburden yourself and maybe, right now....the job would be best. It is a big decision on your part.

    As far as your Dad? I am so sorry that he has this problem. It is scary. Take time for your Dad. He needs his daughter. You are not alone in thinking this way....everyone does.

    Take care.....

  2. Hi Debbie,
    First of all ~ I love fresh baked bread - good thing I don't live nearby!!

    My father passed away when I was fifteen and my mom has been a huge presence in my life since then. I can't even begin to imagine what life would be like without her. I guess we just need to make the very most of the time we have together with them. I will surely keep your Dad in my prayers...and you too.
    I'll be praying for the work/school situation too. I think care and concern for your hubby is a good thing by the way. All you can do is support him and share some of your concerns with him. My 32 year old son didn't have very good grades in high school but he's just finishing up a bachelor degree and has made wonderful grades. A lot of knowledge is gained from life's experiences and a strong desire is such a major factor in being successful.
    I think a part-time baker sounds like a wonderful job for you and finishing an associate degree would be great too! I'd like to go back to college if I ever had the chance. I sure can understand you being anxious about taking on too much though. One step at a time..... that bread I smell? : )

  3. Debbie,

    It seems we both always have something to think about/worry about. I feel for you. It's hard trying to always make the right decision that will be best for yourself. I say honestly make the decision that is best for you in the long run. I am saying this from a personal experience. I wish I could change a lot of things but now it is what it is. I think about you often and wish you the best.


  4. Hey sis....I know how you feel about losing a parent. It will be 8 years in October since dad passed. Hang in there and I will pray for your dad.

    Wendell attending school is a big step for both of you. he may not realise that but it sure is. With Dave in school the past year its been very trying at times. Even though he doesnt need my help with the school work it leaves him so little time for anything else and hence that all fell back on me. Talk to him about it and make sure he much as a man will understand!! LOL!


  5. Hello Debbie!....I just wanted to say thank you for stopping by my blog and for leaving your thoughts on my paint sound like me in wanting to change paint colors after 3 months, LOL....that dining room is now on its 4th color in 7 years.

    I just read your blog entry and wanted to say that I hope your Dad feels better very soon, both my parents are gone, my Dad died way back in 1963 when I was 4 and my Mom died just 4 years ago.

    I hope you and your husband's schooling situations will work themselves out to a happy medium that will be comfortable and fulfilling for you both, good luck!


  6. Debbie--big hugs! You have a lot going on right now. First off, I'm sorry to hear about your dad, but I know two of my uncles have had prostate cancer and are doing so well now.

    As for school/work--you'll be able to handle whatever you decide. As far as your husband's homework (if he goes that route), I just wouldn't take on that burden. If he can do it, great. If he can't, well--it's not up to you to fix that for him. Know what I mean?